Mar 12, 2013

Where, oh where has my dealer gone?

   James and I went out for sushi last night at this place we haven't been to in awhile. For some reason, they took forever to serve raw food and I remembered something about that place.
"Hey babe, remember when I used to meet my makeup dealer in this parking lot?"
"Haha! Yeah, whatever happened to her?"
"Hell if I know. She probably got bumped off."

WTH is going on in this picture? A wad of hundies for a nasty ass lunch bag?

   Yes, I really had a makeup dealer. I had it bad, guys. This was before I became a makeup artist. I had just started getting into makeup and I was a serious makeup junkie. It really was like a drug to me. I would shop for makeup constantly. My habit was getting pretty expensive so I started looking for the cheaper stuff. I boldly went where no one should ever go for makeup; Craigslist. I'm almost ashamed to admit it. I saw a post that said they were selling name brand cosmetics at ridiculously low prices. I wasted no time. I sent an email and set up a time to meet with this random makeup dealer near my place. I asked James to drive me to a dark parking lot and he parked beside the car. Thankfully, it was a woman. I don't even remember her name anymore. I was careful not to make a big scene of getting out of the car and into her's. I was afraid a cop would see us and think it was a legitimate drug deal.
   This chick had all kinds of goodies! MAC brushes, Chanel eye shadow palettes and a ton of Benefit. I carefully inspected everything to make sure it was legit, most of it looked pretty good. She was like "Whatchu want gurl? I got all kindsa shit" I was in way over my head. I looked at everything for way too long and finally decided on getting Hoola from Benefit and a really nice Chanel palette for my sister's birthday. God, that palette was gorgeous! I ended up calling her about a week later. "Hey, can you meet up with me? I'm going through withdrawals. I need it bad!" So we met again, this time I let James stay home. This was when I noticed something was off with the product. It was the Dr. Feelgood Lipscription from Benefit (it has since been discontinued). It came with two tubes. One was a lip exfoliator and the other was a balm. The issue was that they products were in the wrong tubes. The balm was in the exfoliator and the vice versa. Where the hell is this chick getting this stuff? I was too afraid to ask questions. I just paid for the stuff and went back home. That was the last time I saw her. I emailed her and texted her a couple of times. Nothing.

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  1. that is pretty funny! love the idea of clandestine make up dealings, haha x

  2. this is the greatest story i've ever heard. i've had dreams where i'm a shoe junkie and show up in an alley and buy some j.crew flats and hunter boots out of the back of a car, but it never went further than dreamland. you just gained like 400 extra cool points (on top of your already exceeding amount).

    xo nicole

  3. This post is amazing. Wish you lived in Kansas City and we could hang out!
    The Nautical Owl

  4. Hahaha!

    xo Jennifer

  5. oh my god i love this story. never did i ever know that was going down on craigslist. i prolly woulda went for it too.

  6. OMG!This is just great!Don`t you ever want to know,where she got all this stuff from?


  7. This is absolutely hysterical.
    Jillian -


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